A little early and a little late.

I just logged into my blog and noticed that it has been exactly a year since I last posted.  There has been way too many new developments in our lives for me to have waited this long.  I'm not really sure why I haven't created any blogs about any of this, but I plan on catching up on all of the highlights in the next few posts.  One of the biggest things that happened at the end of the year, is I became a Grandparent. Yes, that's right. at age 34 my first Grandchild was born on November 10th.  His name is Rayden Kace, and he is adorable. Because I am late writing this, he is now 7 months old, is a little chunk and is nothing but smiles all the time.

Becoming a Grandparent at such a young age is a hard thing to deal with. My daughter was born when I was  only 17, I struggled for a lot of years trying to raise her because I was still trying to establish my own life and find a career path to support a family.  I always hoped that my daughter wouldn't go down the same path that I did.  When she first told us that she was pregnant, as you can imagine, I freaked out.  I was so angry, disappointed, and sad.  I am sure that if you asked my daughter about that point in time she would probably say that I didn't care about what was going on with her, and that all I cared about was money.  Which yes, just like any parent, when something big like this happens. Both medically and support of a new child, you look at those dollar signs and lose your mind for a while.  But, the truth of the matter, is I was angry at the fact that my daughter has to go down the same hard road that I went down.  Sure, now that she is older, I have my life together and everything is fine, but my daughter doesn't know the hard road that I shielded her from growing up.  I wish that I could take the memories of the hard times and things that I had to do, the worries, the financial burdens, dealing with an emotional child because the other parent was absent, and project them for my daughter to see so that she will understand why I was so angry at her being pregnant.  Then I stop and look at the situation, and I realize that in 10 or 15 years, she WILL know. She will have lived it and will understand why I never wanted that for her.

Then came the amazing day that he was born. I love babies, I love children, I love the miracle of new life, and just like with any child born, we welcomed him with open arms.  It was a little odd getting used to the grandparent roll.  It is an interesting situation to have a child come into the world that is your blood, that you love and will do anything to protect, but it is not your child. You don't get to choose the name, or the style of clothes, or the way that they are raised.  It is a new experience to love from arms length.  And it has turned out to be such a great feeling. Now that he has been here for 7 months, we have adjusted to life with him around and of course, wouldn't have it any other way.  We love him like any grandparent loves their grandkids and we are looking forward to watching him grow and learn.

 Being called a Grandad..... That is still going to take some getting used to.